One Year

Tomorrow marks a year passed since my leaving. I have known, in that year, more beauty and more sadness than I ever have before. I have seen things that I had never thought that I would see, heard things that I had never thought that I would hear, done things that I had never thought that I would do. I have lost love, found it again, lost it again, and found warmth, safety, and comfort. I have never known that I could be so happy, and never imagined that I would feel so alone again. I have been blessed with the love of a woman who has been very, very good to me. I have struggled with questions of my worth as a man, and as a father. Struggled with how to gauge the worth of my word, and the weight of what it means to make, break, and keep my promises. Struggled with the reality of the consequences of my decisions. More importantly, I have put my children through life altering changes. Changes that I hope, through the positive example of what I will become, they will learn from. A year ago, I would never have imagined myself where I am. It was all supposed to go so differently. I am an incredibly fortunate man, to have been given so much.